Tuesday, October 21, 2008

A Stitch in Time

I'm trying to resist the temptation to be cliché and everything, but hell, this is a blog about relationships and dating. Almost anything I may come up with is probably cliché in one way or another. So deal with it.

I am learning yet again the incredible importance of timing. I started to learn this lesson on a larger scale many, many years ago when I was in grade school. Okay, so that was last week, whatever.

When I was in grade school I got picked on quite a bit. I was a wee bit on the chunky side and some of my classmates were little devils, as kids will often be. Even then I knew my time would come.

I compiled a list, which I still have buried in the pages of my journal. My “Guys I Won’t Ever Date When I’m Skinny” list. Ironically enough, I slimmed down substantially during the later part of my high school years and eventually became the beautiful and breathtaking creature I am today.

About a year or so ago, I ran into one of the boys on my list. Now a man, and a rather good-looking one at that, he almost immediately began to express interest in me, asking for my number, saying he wanted to take me to a Dodgers game, and all that. Well, karma’s a bitch and timing is everything, right?

I never reminded him of that one time he called me Ms. Piggy, but I never went out with him either.

That was my first long-term lesson in timing. I’ve been learning another one lately, but only time will tell if this one will be quite as satisfying as the first.

I’m going to be a little vulnerable here. Don’t expect to find much more of that any time soon, but here I go.

*@hotinvestmentbanker warning, for those of you sick of hearing about it.

There’s this guy. Or should I say was this guy. We apparently had the worst timing in the history of mankind. My interest in him was almost unprecedented. It just so happened that I picked the worst time since the Great Depression to decide to date someone in finance. Two days after our first date, the economy plummeted to an all-time low. A few weeks later I found out that not only was his job a nightmare but also a few other factors had weighed in, making him decide to “take a break” from dating.

It’s all in the timing. That’s what I keep telling myself. That’s what my co-working crew keeps telling me. That’s what my friends and roommate and neighbors keep telling me. It’s become my mantra as of late.

After seeing him online last night and suppressing the urge to instant message him, I decided to read up on timing just to strengthen my resolve.

“Life is all about the timing… The unreachable becomes reachable… the unavailable becomes available…the unattainable, attainable… Have the patience. Wait it out. It’s all about the timing.” –Stacey Charter

Okay, that’s good, I thought. Reachable, available, attainable, these are all good things. I kept reading.

“The timing of death, like the ending of a story, gives a changed meaning to what preceded it.” —Mary Catherine Bateson

Uh, so, not exactly what I’m looking for. Keep going.

“All right, so if you absolutely have to tell her the truth, at least wait until the timing’s right. And that’s what deathbeds are for.” –Chandler on “Friends”

I had to throw in the “Friends” quote…c’mon.
And here’s the one that threw me.

“You cannot afford to wait for perfect conditions. Goal setting is often a matter of balancing timing against available resources. Opportunities are easily lost while waiting for perfect conditions.” —Gary Ryan Blair

This one made me second-guess myself. I mean, really, am I throwing away opportunities while I wait for the perfect timing? Should I have instant messaged him? No. I was steadfast in my decision-making. Okay, so I had to tell my roommate to tell me I shouldn’t IM him. She said, “Give it more time.” There’s that word again, I thought.

So I’m giving it time. My gut tells me it’s the right move. And besides, in the meantime I can keep myself occupied dating guys named Chewbacca.

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