Thursday, April 23, 2009

"You can [not always] have whatever you like, yeah, yeah."

I’m not a control freak.

No, I’m not trying to convince anyone of this fact; the act alone of trying to convince someone I’m not a control freak would prove contradictory. So I won’t try to connive, manipulate, or in any other way control your thoughts about me not being a control freak. Don’t worry—I won’t.

I will say, however, that if something needs to be taken control of, I know how to do it. The other day, when something at the office wasn’t working out to my satisfaction, a friend-co–worker said, “You know how to get what you want. Make it happen!” And I did.

She’s right. I generally do know how to get what I want (except a million dollars and a free Thai food delivery service—haven’t quite figured out how to get those yet). The problem with this is that I become incredibly frustrated with dating because it is something that is inherently entirely out of my control.

And that’s the whole point. The whole point of a relationship is having someone who wants to be with you, wants to kiss you, wants to help you mop up the 2 inches of water covering your floor when a pipe breaks, and wants to…give you lots of shiny things. (Wait, shiny things aren’t the point? I totally thought it was. I’m confused.)

Different magazines constantly seem to be publishing stories like “How to Make Him Like You,” or “How to Use Body Language to Get Him to Kiss You.” And sure, some of these tactics may occasionally work, at least on a surface level, but I don’t want to have to “make” someone like me or have to “use body language” to get someone to kiss me.

I just want him to want to like me. And I can’t control that. That is all on him.

Told you I wasn’t a control freak.