Friday, August 7, 2009

Brace-Faced Fido

Sometimes, I think my standards are a little unrealistic. My friends always think my standards are unrealistic, but I only agree with them about 35 percent of the time.
However, I hope you all agree with me this time.
When out for dinner and drinks not too long ago, I was approached by a decent-looking guy. He told me he hadn’t been able to look away from me all night because he thought I was just gorgeous. He introduced himself and asked for my number. It was kind of a ballsy move, I figured, and he seemed nice, so I gave it to him. I know, after learning my lesson from the guy who looked like a serial killer, I should have handed him some questionnaires before giving out my number. Nonetheless, I gave it to him.
He called not too long thereafter. It took me 15 minutes to discover that he didn’t fit any of my standards by a long shot.
In just 15 minutes on the phone, I discovered he:
is on year No. 2 of a seven-year plan to open a bar (woohoo, bars in L.A. don’t even stay open for seven years).
lives with his mom at 27
and, as if that weren’t good enough…
he works as a vet technician. For a vet. who puts braces on dogs.
You just can’t make this shit up. FML.

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